We’ve had bad weeks and weeks more encouraging with progress and laughter since my last posting. Eric is now spending three days a week at a Day Treatment Program, their mission is to provide physical, psychological, cognitive and behavioral rehab opportunities for TBI survivors. The place is called CEC but we call it “Work”. Work is exactly what this is, and it’s been great for both Eric and I. CEC have taken a lot of stress off my shoulders. When he’s at CEC I have the security of knowing Eric is safe, and being physically and cognitively challenged. Some days Eric gets hardly anything done at CEC, he’s tired and won’t participate in the exercises, and some days he’s really motivated, working out hard and making jokes. One day Eric got off the buss with a huge smile; he’d planned to take me out for dinner, he said, so we went to the restaurant down the street from our house. It wasn’t really a surprise to me; CEC had called me earlier to discuss his plan with me to make sure it was ok. I was ready to “hit town” with Eric when he came home, and so was the restaurant I’d forewarned them too incase Eric would get aggressive or out of line. Eric was treated with respect and we had a great time with good food. I have our neighbor to thank for this dinner; they gave me a gift certificate for my birthday! Being out in public with Eric is terrifying! It’s normal for a survivor during the recovery process to be inappropriate to others in public, and as I’ve said many times; Mr. Inappropriate is Eric’s nickname and he still is inappropriate. One day he managed to yell at three people during the minutes it took us to park the car and step into the doctor’s office. Then once we met with the doctor he yelled at him too for saving his life. Eric’s been deeply depressed about his present state, he’s fed up with it and wants it to end, he says. He’s sad about the things he can’t do anymore, the words he can’t speak, the memory he can’t find, and for the old friends who’s not calling him. He’s wondering why nobody wants to help him; I think he’s looking for the same magical pill I’m looking for that will cure him. Unfortunately, the “magic pill” is hard work and patience. Eric needs to find a new meaning with his life; he needs something that will keep him fighting and keep going. That’s a pretty big task, I’d say. When I had the hardest time I learned to look for the small thing in life that would give me hope, and I’m trying to teach Eric the very same thing. I tell him that one day he will see the light in the end of the tunnel, Eric is not going to stay like this, he is going to get better but he doesn’t believe me. He’s lost hope. We’ve both been depressed lately, we’ve both been lost, and scared. Having Eric at home and being his 24/7 Caregiver has been the biggest challenge in my life. What Eric needs, besides feeling safe and loved, is more then one person can give him. He needs a strong team of different individuals that can help him get his independence and life back, and he needs his family. The last two months has been busy. I’ve hired a contractor to finish the bathroom project Eric was working on when the accident happened. Our house is going up on the market this weekend. I’m packing up our life to move to Seattle to live closer to Eric’s family. The family and I are currently working on transferring all information to WA State, which is a huge but possible task.
Posted by: aceanderic | March 30, 2009
MONDAY, MARCH 30
Posted in Uncategorized