Posted by: aceanderic | March 30, 2009

MONDAY, MARCH 30

We’ve had bad weeks and weeks more encouraging with progress and laughter since my last posting. Eric is now spending three days a week at a Day Treatment Program, their mission is to provide physical, psychological, cognitive and behavioral rehab opportunities for TBI survivors. The place is called CEC but we call it “Work”. Work is exactly what this is, and it’s been great for both Eric and I. CEC have taken a lot of stress off my shoulders. When he’s at CEC I have the security of knowing Eric is safe, and being physically and cognitively challenged. Some days Eric gets hardly anything done at CEC, he’s tired and won’t participate in the exercises, and some days he’s really motivated, working out hard and making jokes. One day Eric got off the buss with a huge smile; he’d planned to take me out for dinner, he said, so we went to the restaurant down the street from our house. It wasn’t really a surprise to me; CEC had called me earlier to discuss his plan with me to make sure it was ok. I was ready to “hit town” with Eric when he came home, and so was the restaurant I’d forewarned them too incase Eric would get aggressive or out of line. Eric was treated with respect and we had a great time with good food. I have our neighbor to thank for this dinner; they gave me a gift certificate for my birthday! Being out in public with Eric is terrifying! It’s normal for a survivor during the recovery process to be inappropriate to others in public, and as I’ve said many times; Mr. Inappropriate is Eric’s nickname and he still is inappropriate. One day he managed to yell at three people during the minutes it took us to park the car and step into the doctor’s office. Then once we met with the doctor he yelled at him too for saving his life. Eric’s been deeply depressed about his present state, he’s fed up with it and wants it to end, he says. He’s sad about the things he can’t do anymore, the words he can’t speak, the memory he can’t find, and for the old friends who’s not calling him. He’s wondering why nobody wants to help him; I think he’s looking for the same magical pill I’m looking for that will cure him. Unfortunately, the “magic pill” is hard work and patience. Eric needs to find a new meaning with his life; he needs something that will keep him fighting and keep going. That’s a pretty big task, I’d say. When I had the hardest time I learned to look for the small thing in life that would give me hope, and I’m trying to teach Eric the very same thing. I tell him that one day he will see the light in the end of the tunnel, Eric is not going to stay like this, he is going to get better but he doesn’t believe me. He’s lost hope. We’ve both been depressed lately, we’ve both been lost, and scared. Having Eric at home and being his 24/7 Caregiver has been the biggest challenge in my life. What Eric needs, besides feeling safe and loved, is more then one person can give him. He needs a strong team of different individuals that can help him get his independence and life back, and he needs his family. The last two months has been busy. I’ve hired a contractor to finish the bathroom project Eric was working on when the accident happened. Our house is going up on the market this weekend. I’m packing up our life to move to Seattle to live closer to Eric’s family. The family and I are currently working on transferring all information to WA State, which is a huge but possible task.

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Responses

  1. Hej A-C & Eric!

    Vad modigt att bryta upp och flytta till Seattle. Det ar bra att ha familjen nara och jag hoppas ni bada kommer trivas! Du ar en san klippa A-C, and Eric, I know there are many with us who are out here but with you in spirit. We know you can do this!!
    All our love,
    Cilla, Cory, Colin & Maja

  2. I am so grateful to have this blog to refer to. It is easy to become absorbed in ones own daily complications. We want to feel participatory and we want to remind him that he (and you) are loved. I am sorry to read you are packing up the house. It is my hope that the proximity to us will allow for more time and sharing. I felt all the things you mentioned in this last blog entry as I relived his most recent phone call to us. We have to hear him often to understand him and that understanding allows for hope. We are hopeful and want to share it with you both. AC – you are a marvel and a model spouse. When is the move likely to happen? Help with the unloading perhaps?

  3. hello anna-carin

    not sure if you remember me, but i interviewed with you at nemo almost 2 years ago. i’ve been reading up on your story with eric, link courtesy of Don Brown @ infinity. first off, i admire you for all that you’ve been through and wish nothing but great things for the 2 of you. the other thing is your move to seattle. if you ever decide to get into producing up there, i know a lot of the producers/agencies in there. i’d be more than happy to get you a contact list of everyone i know. sounds like it’s a ways off, but let me know :)

    take care.

    ~amy

  4. ACE,
    We are glad that you are moving closer to family that can help ease the stress for you and interact with Eric more. We are also glad that it will be closer to us. Please contact us when you get to Seattle.
    Creeks

  5. Hey Ace and Eric

    The roads of life and twisty turny, but luckily you both have great clearance and on the fly four wheel drive! What you’ve both accomplished together is truly remarkable and inspirational. Good luck with the move. I wish we were closer to help more, but know that you both are always close in our hearts and thoughts. Take Care of yourselves and each other.

    Lots of Love, Luck and Best Wishes

    Heather Anne & Bob
    Samoa

  6. ACE, I am one of the nurses that worked with Eric in one of the skilled facilities where he spent some weeks. I am a frequent reader of your blog and this case has been a inspiration to me, since the first day I met you both.
    It’s obvious that your life has not been easy, but I truly believe everything has a reason and no leaf fall from the tree without a reason. You will figure “your reason” one day… so will Eric. Best wishes and thank you for everything you have been doing for another human being.

    :o)

    Teresa

  7. ACE – you continue to amaze me. I know this is not much of an encouragement but whenever I am feeling really down and discouraged with life I click on your link to see where you and Eric are. And immediately I am humbled. My life trials are nothing. I have my health, my loved ones have their healthl. Hang in there girl, I don’t know how you do it. I think it’s a great idea that you are moving closer to family. May God bless you and continue to give you the wisdom and resources you need to continue on.


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