Today was a stressful day for me personally, and I’d say that Eric had a good day getting all the therapy done. We completed his morning routine with cleaning and getting dressed faster then yesterday so that’s good. His did great with his SLP training; he swallowed ice, which is the first step in learning how to swallow correctly, and he said a few words. Eric said “hi”, with more oomph behind the word so I actually could hear it sitting next to him. Otherwise he’s not putting any oomph behind the words so it’s extremely difficult to hear him talk.
Marci and I had a meeting with the Social Worker and our Case Manager; we needed to come up with a plan for Eric’s future care. Being Swedish where the government takes care of you when you’re sick; for as long as you need and for no charge, and no insurance, it’s extremely difficult for me to accept your system. The insurance company decides when and where Eric is going next. We have options of course, options regulated by the insurance company. Come Monday we’ll see if the insurance company allows us to stay here another week or not. I was asked if I could take care of Eric in our home for a while until he’s ready for the Rehabilitation Center, the house isn’t ready, I’m not ready…. so stressful.
I’d say that the best time I had with Eric was in the evening. You must probably think that I’m making things up because every time he’s doing something great, there’s no one else there to witness it besides me. I swear I’m not making anything up. I made Eric angry today and I feel really bad about it, and at the same time I’m happy because he spoke. His PT tried to get him to walk but Eric didn’t want to due to stomach pains. We decided to force him up from the wheelchair. She got a slap on her legs and I got the angry eye look. Then Eric said to me “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!!”. He’s right, I don’t. I have no idea what he’s going through, or how he feels. First I felt horrible because I made him mad, but then I realized that Eric actually talked to me, in a loud and clear voice. I stopped crying and said “Hey, you actually communicated to me, that’s awesome”. And he had more to say after that…. He later asked if I’m doing ok, how we’re doing financially (typical Eric question), and if I’m getting any help. I had to keep my ear next to his mouth to even hear the words, and pay extra attention to his face expressions and hand gestures to figure out what he said. After numerous “Did you say….?”, I finally figured out what he asked me. I’m amazed that he’s more concerned over how I’m doing then anything else, because there are so many questions.