I don’t want to upset Eric so I try to not be upset when he’s looking at me but sometimes it’s hard to not show him my tears. Today was just one of those days where I couldn’t see the positive in anything. Eric is still feeling off and it’s taking the energy out of him, plus he’s not able to participate in the daily therapy he needs. I know it’s part of the roller coaster we’re in; some days will be better then others. Today was one of those bad days and it always stresses me out. I had an emotional meeting downtown this morning which at the point didn’t seam to effect me as much but it hit me later in the day; I’m totally exhausted and I’ve been crying too much today.
Eric tried to tell us that he needed to go to the bathroom but the nurse kept on holding him down in the wheelchair, politely telling him to sit down. No one in the room could understand him. When he tried to put the T-shirt on as his shorts plus trying to stand up, I had enough, I had to leave for a break so I took the dogs for a walk. Eric finally had enough too and screamed at the nurse (yeah, he screamed) so she finally got the hint that he needed to go. I can’t even imaging how frustrating it must have been for him to not being herd. At the same time, a few blocks away from the hospital, I yelled at this poor lady in her purple car. She happened to be at the wrong spot and the wrong time; I yelled two words to her and walked away. I felt great afterwards. That poor lady in the purple car didn’t deserve it; sorry!
Singha, my oldest dog, could probably feel that his mom and dad needed some love so when we got back from the walk he jump up in Eric’s bed and laid there on top of him. Singha has been very scared of Eric, he’s even so scared of flies these days so he’s eating dust, thinking it’s flies. Oh well, that’s a different family issue I’m dealing with. While Eric rubbed my arm, and Singha next to Eric I finally relaxed. I hope Eric will feel better soon. Tomorrow is another day, full of new opportunities to grab.