After even more phone calls and meetings this morning I have decided to welcome myself to the American health care system…. I lost my first battle with the insurance company and Eric is moving tomorrow. I’m so exhausted I can’t even cry. I’m trying to see the good in this but I can’t see it yet; hopefully it will come to me soon. I’m not sure if Eric could sense my frustration and stress because he acted very anxious and wouldn’t sit still for a minute. Eric was in the wheelchair, and I walked next to him hand in hand, up and down the hallways while my phone was buzzing in my pocket. I told him that moving is a good thing; it means that you’re getting better (I wish I could believe my own words). He gave me thumbs up but I know he’s stressed out. We’ll see how the actual move goes tomorrow. This new place is a skilled nursing facility, it’s small with only 35 patients and they have three patients right now with a brain injury so that’s good. It means they have experience with patients like Eric’s critical care. A big concern of mine is his safety; they can’t restrain patients at this place, or any nursing facility for that matter. He’s most likely going to be found on the floor many times, and I hope he won’t hurt himself. They have a wonderful therapy room and I have high hopes about this part which is what Eric really needs right now. The big downside with this move is the financial part, the insurance will only cover two weeks paid, I need to pay out of pocket after that and it’s expensive I tell you that.
Eric was served both lunch and dinner today, still puree and thickened water and apple juice. I’m wondering to myself how on earth Eric is going to learn how to eat again if they keep on feeding him food like they did today. I would stick to the feeding tube for the rest of my life if I had to eat that food, and I think Eric was thinking the same. No words can describe the food that was served to him today. He just took one look at it, looked at me like I’m crazy, said NOOOO, and pushed the tray away. He went to bed and watched TV instead; he’s now mastering the remote control for the TV.