Pam spent the day with Eric, I didn’t see him today but I spoke with him on the phone. Eric’s words on the phone; “Hey, what are you doing?”, almost made my heart stop. His voice was perfect, it was my husband on the phone like any day before his injury. It was difficult to understand the rest but I got most of what he said. He’s getting more comfortable and starting to like it there. Yesterday wasn’t a good day for him, he didn’t like anything but he’s coming around and I’m sure he will like RIO just as much as I have faith in this place. I’ve been feeling lost since Friday; I fought to get Eric to RIO for so long and so hard. Every visit with Eric, every hour and minute was maximized with training to get Eric to the level he needed to be at to get accepted. This is now accomplished, and I’m finding myself terrified with the thought of him getting “kicked out”. What if he’s NOT ready, what should I do then? I know experts surround us at RIO and they will do everything in their power to get Eric to succeed his customized treatment plan to meet needs and goals. This place can pull miracles! Patience will take us there.
I’m wondering what I should focus on now while Eric’s future lies in the hands of brain injury experts, I don’t have to work so hard with him anymore. Or perhaps I do, I’ll find out this coming week. I’ve been the head of our household since May 10th and it’s my responsibility to make sure Eric and I survive; these thoughts have been on my mind lately, more so since Eric got accepted to RIO since I have had time to think about myself. I’ve always thought that once Eric got to RIO “my safety bubble” would burst and I would fall apart, luckily I don’t think that will happen (yet) since I’m still feeling strong enough to get through each day. I know I need a break to recharge my batteries, and I definitely need a job both for financially reason and for my own mental sake. The question is; how much time do I have for a job? It’s my responsibility to make sure our home doesn’t fall apart, the dogs are taken cared off, mortgage and bills are paid, I need to plan for our future and maintain everything Eric and I had built up and accomplished before his injury; the list is long and the job is exhausting for one person.
Tomorrow we’ll get a taste of how a typical day will look like of therapy and other activities, which I’m looking forward to.